That's right- it's the new year again, and with it comes much emotion for everyone. For those who grieve, the New Year brings a whole new set of emotions that do not always bring hope for the future or warm fuzzy new beginnings. For the grieving, it usually involves a whole lot of "Ohhhhh, another year of pain and missing the one I love that is not here anymore".
What many people who grieve do not know is that this year can be different. This could be the year that we can feel renewal and new hope for the future. Our emotions are based on our views and perceptions. Our inner vocabulary rules the way in which we feel from day to day, and whether or not we heal from grief.
This may sound overly simplistic, but it is absolutely true. If we use words such as devastated, destroyed, or tragic, then we will certainly see our situation as such. If we tend to see things in general as negative, we will have more difficulty in moving forward out of grief.
If we are able to let go for a moment and try a new approach, we may find it possible to begin healing.
It is as simple as this;
When I wake up in the morning, I do not allow myself to think, "Oh, not another day in hell I am living without my daughter". I wake up and I think, "Thank you (higher power) for this sunrise, for my beautiful boys, for this incredible man who loves me, for my loving home, for my ability to love, and to laugh hysterically." I also keep in mind the fabulous gifts that have come as a result of the tragedies in my past. I am not a pro at it, and it does not work every time. I still have my moments, but they are just that – moments – not days, weeks, months or years.
Being positive and changing our internal vocabulary takes practice, but it is possible.
The question to ask yourself is this- and it must be answered honestly; "Am I really ready to begin healing, and am I ready to do whatever it takes?"
If you can answer "Yes" to this question, maybe you are ready to take the next step.